New joke for y'all....

Not sure how theologically correct this is, but it gave me a laugh so I'll post it anyway...

A dedicated Christian man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to church.
Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Pastor went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Preacher asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?"
The old man lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Pastor," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"

Religious people less anxious....

I recently read a really interesting article at http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,506004,00.html that touched on how people who are Christians or even otherwise religious have less anxiety in their lives. The study, which was conducted by Professor Michael Inzlicht of Toronto University, involved hooking people up to electrodes to measure their brain activity. The study indicated that these who even just professed a belief in God had different reactions to a potentially stressful activity than those who did not profess a belief in God. Pretty interesting study!

God Story #2

For the second God story I am going to focus on an what can happen when the power of God gets ahold of an individual who is not living life right. An individual named Richard Schlotter, who is now an Assembly of God pastor in Iowa, is an example of how powerful God is when an individual yields to Him. Although this man has been in the ministry for the past three years (2 as a youth pastor and 1 as a senior pastor) he lived a life of drug addiction and incarceration before becoming the Man of God he is today.

"I knew my life had to change."

When Schlotter was 23, he found himself in the county jail facing a drug manufacturing charge, facing the possibility of ten years in prison for the offense. To make matters worse, his wife was planning on divorcing him. The ministry team from the very church that he pastors today came to his cell and told him about the Gospel. Richard Schlotter cried out to God to forgive him of his sins. He became a new person that day and decided to change his lifestyle and become a better husband to his wife Kelly if given the chance.

"I didn't deserve my wife because of the bad choices I had made"

Mr. Schlotter began fervently praying that his wife's heart would be softened toward him. He knew that it would be a long, difficult road ahead of him because of how he had treated her. The guilt he felt was particularly strong for an incident where he was in a drug-induced state and threatened to kill his wife and two children and held them hostage. After three months however, his prayers were answered and his wife sent him a letter saying she wanted to visit. God helped to restore the relationship when she visited and later his wife and two boys became believers as well. After serving 18 months of his sentence, he began a Sunday School class for former inmates such as himself which eventually grew to 50 members. He would later become the youth pastor and then senior pastor at the very church that visited him when he was an unbeliever.

While this isn't necessarily an example like the last entry, this is still important because it demonstrates what God can do when a life is yielded to Him, as Mr. Schlotter did. There is a 4 Him song that touches on the issue a lot better than I can:

Lay it all on the Line

So don't go wastin' your time
Holding on to your life
There are treasures that I have possessed
Meant the world to me

But they never filled the emptiness
I needed something more than these
In the middle of my wilderness
God reached down to me
When I let go to His tenderness
I found this life was more than I ever dreamed

CHORUS

So don't go wastin' your time
Holding on to your life
Just lay it all on the line
Gotta make up your mind
There can be no more compromise
Just lay it all on the line

It's a matter of surrendering
Every hidden fear
And by letting go of everything
Jesus will meet you there

In the heart of every one of us
There's a call to faith
Even though we'll never measure up
That's why the Savior, that's why the Savior came

Gone are the days of holding on
This is the time to surrender
Now is the moment you've got to let it go
Just let it go (repeat)

Don't go wastin' your time
Gotta make up your mind
There can be no more compromise
Just lay it all on the line


You see, I am also a lot like Pastor Schlotter and this has a lot to do with my motivations for starting this blog. Just like him, God met me in my wilderness as well and when I finally did relinquish what I was holding on to, God did meet me there!

*For more information on Pastor Schlotter and his family go to: http://www.fpagoi.org/?TargetPage=541345FF-993D-4829-B134-C8FB1C9FB169

Quote of the Week #3

The third quote of the week is a paraphrase of a Bible verse and is also something that I am still learning how to do myself. I went to a church service not too long ago and the message was about being thankful, and was based on 1 Thessalonians 5:18: "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus that you do this." (KJV) The speaker mentioned a litany of things that we all take for granted, but that we are not thankful for. He said, "how about your nose? Are you thankful for your nose? Or your eyebrows? How about the belt that you have that holds up your pants? Or how about your pants? Anyhow, after about the 20th thing that he rattled off I began to get the idea...so this week's quote is simply Thank You God. Because if we think about it, whether we are Baptist, Pentecostal, Lutheran, Catholic or whatever we all have a lot of good things to be thankful for.

This Picture is just too funny.....

I just had to post this...it made me crack up. Enjoy!




I'm going to have to come out as a Duran Duran fan also I guess!

God Story #1

I'm thinking about adding another segment on here that I thought would be pretty neat. Even though I really only got one reader so far (I appreciate you, abstractscientist) it's my goal that anyone who comes across the blog will either be encouraged, get a little chuckle, or get some inspiration of some sort; at the same time I also desire to glorify God. So, that being said, these stories are just examples of people who have been affected in some positive way by this higher power we call God. Miracles or Divine Intervention by another term. Here's the first one:

God is raising up a new kind of workplace believer who is experiencing the power of God in their daily work life. My friend, Emeka Nywankpa, was a barrister (lawyer) in Nigeria. Emeka spoke at a conference a few years ago on the subject of how the spiritual impacts the physical.

Emeka shared a story about arguing an important Supreme Court case in his country. There were five points to argue in the case. The morning the trial began, he prayed with his wife and junior lawyers in his chambers. During his prayer time, he sensed that the Holy Spirit was telling him, "Do not argue points one through four. Only argue point five." Imagine making such a change just before you are to argue a case before the Supreme Court!

In the courtroom, Emeka announced that he wished to drop points one through four and only wished to argue point five. The judge was shocked, but gave him permission to proceed. He argued point five and sat down. The other attorney got up, and then for twelve minutes stumbled around trying to defend his position, unable to get a coherent word out.

Finally, he approached the bench and said, "Your Lordship, it is unfortunate that my learned friend has dropped the first four points. I wish to yield the case." The other attorney had only prepared for the first four points. Emeka won the case. God had given him a strategy to win his case supernaturally. It made no sense to him, but he obeyed and God gave him victory in a very unusual way.

Another funny Christian joke....

Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.

The preacher grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him aside. The pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"Jack replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I almost never see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

Jack whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

Chargoggagoggmanchaugg- agoggchaubunagungamaugg

Jibberish you say? Not necessarily. This is the name of a lake in Massachusetts that according to some is misspelled (!) Apparently (or not so apparently, as it looks from the name of the lake), the name had an "o" at letter 20 where a "u" should have been, and an "h" at letter 38 where an "n" should go. Boy, I'm glad they cleared this up!


Here's the link:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30312971/?GT1=43001

She still said yes

As we have now passed the 10th anniversary of the terrible massacre at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, we need to remember the story of Cassie Bernall. Even though there is now doubt whether she actually was questioned by the gunman as to her belief in the existence of God, she still said yes by her choices in life.* She is an example of how people can change when the power of God is behind it. Did she actually say yes verbally? Probably not. But the most important thing is that she very easily could have started down the path that those two young men started down had she not accepted Him.







*There is evidence to indicate that this exchange actually occurred between the gunman and a girl named Valeen Schnurr, who survived the massacre.

Quote of the Week #2

Yes, yes I know that a week has not went by yet but I will probably have more QotW's than weeks on this blog...here's my next one, and this lesson is one that I have had to learn the hard way: 90% of your life is how you react to the other 10%, or the events in your life. This means that you choose how to deal with different situations that are frustrating to you. No one is holding a gun to your head and telling you to abuse drugs or alcohol, be verbally abusive, be in a bad mood, or beat yourself up and have poor self esteem...yes, being positive is a learned behavior, but it is also a CHOICE. Stay positive, and don't do anything to harm yourself or others. Talk to someone about it and get it off your chest.


There is a new song out by Country Music Artist Darryl Worley that I really like and here are the lyrics:

Got a call last night from an old friends wife, said, I hate to bother you
But Johnny Ray fell off the wagon, hed been gone all afternoon
Well, I know my buddy, so I drove to Scullys and found him at the bar
Said, Hey Man, whats goin on, He said, I dont know where to start
Sarah's old car startin to fall apart and the washer quit last week
We had to put Mama in the nursing home and the baby's cuttin teeth

Sounds Like Life To Me
I didnt get much work this week and I got bills to pay
I said, I know this aint what you wanna hear but its what Im gonna say
Sounds like life to me, it aint no fantasy
It just a common case of everyday reality
Man, I know its tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk youre caught up in some tragedy
It sounds like life to me

Well, his face turned red and he shook his head
He said, you dont understand, three kids and a wife depend on me
And Im just one man, top it off we just found out that Sarahs two months late
I said, Hey, bartender, set us up a round, we gotta celebrate
Sounds like life to me, aint no destiny
Yeah, the only thing for certain is uncertainty
You gotta hold on tight, just enjoy the ride
Get used to all this unpredictability, sounds like life
Man, I know its tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk youre caught up in some tragedy
Sounds like life to me (sounds like life to me)
Sounds like life

Bad Bible Jokes

Some more levity would be good right now...

Q: What was the secret of Delilah getting into Samson’s house?
A: She picked his locks.

Q: Why didn’t Pharaoh let the Israelites go into the wilderness after the first six plagues?
A: He was in de Nile.

Q: Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
A: He didn’t want to split hairs.

Quote of the Week #1

I've been thinking about getting about a "quote of the week" section started on this blog. I'm not really sure about it, but just like everything else here goes nothing. The first quote of the week is people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. That is precisely the reason why those in Christian ministry SHOULD, in my humble opinion, take care of the physical, material, and social needs of people first (when possible, of course) and then these people will be more likely to receptive to you tending to their spiritual needs.

"He must have been living in his own private hell for years."

William Sinkford, president of the Unitarian Universalist Association, when asked whether he thought Jim Adkisson would go to hell. Adkisson shot and killed two people during Sunday services at the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church in Knoxville, Tennessee on July 27, 2008. *Originally appeared in Signs magazine, November 2008.

The Name of the Game...

The Name of the Game right now (at least for me, after the year that I have had) is encouragement. Encouraging other people and being there for them can not only be a catharsis, but it is also biblical: 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV): Therefore encourage one another and build one another up." So this week, this month, whatever, why don't we all go out of our way to help one another and encourage them? Even just giving someone an ear to listen can be helpful!

Interesting Yahoo Question

I thought that this Yahoo Answers question was quite interesting...my response is below. I've had friends kill themselves over things like this and really hope this woman can accept the situation in a good manner...here's the link: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090411141239AAoFxeL&cp=2



Son brought home a BOY from college . . . what should I do?




I'm assuming that your son is GAY. The best thing that you can do is accept the situation for what it is, even if it is not your cup of tea. I am thinking about studying to be a pastor and I am always hearing about it being unnatural, wrong, immoral, sinful, etc., but there are people who kill themselves over homosexuality every day. So, love him, accept him, care for him, and let him worry about the repercussions.
Source(s):
future pastor and counselor

NOTE: I realize that I might have just stepped into a minefield discussing homosexuality. Well, yes I do believe that homosexuality is wrong. It is "not God's best" as Joel Osteen so eloquently put it on Larry King. However, instead of stuffing it down his throat and preaching at him, I believe that a quiet life lived in front of him and private prayer is sufficient to help him realize the error in his ways.

Some Good Christian one-liners

I came across these yesterday and thought I would share them before I go to bed...they're really neat!

Xstian "one liners" < son0fyah > 03/23 22:24:26


Don't let your worries get the best of you;
Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited
Until you try to sit in their pews.

Many folks want to serve God,
But only as advisers.

It is easier to preach ten sermons
Than it is to live one.

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, But mosquitoes come close.

When you get to your wit's end,
You'll find God lives there.

People are funny;
they want the front of the bus,
Middle of the road,
And back of the church.

Opportunity may knock once,
But temptation bangs on the front door forever.

Quit griping about your church;
If it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

If a church wants a better pastor,
It only needs to pray for the one it has.

We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until
he is dead. So why should you?

Some minds are like concrete
Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

Peace starts with a smile.

I don't know why some people change churches;
What difference does it make which one you stay home from?

A lot of church members singing
'Standing on the Promises'
Are just sitting on the premises.

Be ye fishers of men.
You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.

Stop, Drop, and Roll won't work in Hell.

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

Don't put a question mark where God put a period.

Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.

God doesn't call the qualified,
He qualifies the called.

God grades on the cross,
not the curve.

God loves everyone,
But probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit'
over 'religious nuts!'

God promises a safe landing,
not a calm passage.

He who angers you, controls you!

If God is your co-pilot, swap seats!

take time to minister...

I am reminded of the movie Patch Adams today, where the only thing that lifted him out of his depression was helping others. With that in mind, just like Jesus' washed his disciples feet (John 13), we also need to take the time to humble ourselves and minister to others. When you deliver a meal to a shut-in, empty a bedpan, give someone a lift to an appointment, etc., you are fulfilling your calling of ministering for the Lord. Here is an idea for you that I have adopted: keep a database or (if you are not computer savvy) a little notebook of all the good things that you have done for others. No, good works do not save you, but they are very cathartic and helpful to people who are weary and disheartened. If you help others, you help yourself.

Annoying Junk E-Mails

Don't those emails that you probably get that say that a diplomat has a million dollars to give you really annoy you? Well, I usually reply to them and say something to this affect:

Dear Mr. So and So,

I have never met you before and I am not sure why you are compelled to live the life of a con artist in this fashion but you need to have the power of God in your life. I will pray for you to receive Christ as your personal Savior and to leave this life of sin behind.

Regards,

Vaden Chandler

Of course, the less time-comsuming method is just to click the delete button...

God DOES care

The thoughts that are going through my head right now at the moment are that God DOES care about you, no matter what you are going through. We just learned that a good friend of ours has died in a terrible car accident, but God loves us. We are upset, we are grieving, but God DOES care. And you know what else? It's natural for us to doubt whether God really does care...Even Jesus on the cross asked, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" It's my hope and prayer that if you are reading this and have recently lost a loved one that this will give you some comfort.